More of anecdotes

* * *

‘Do you need a Jew as a friend?’ ‘No, I prefer a Christian. I need an advocate, not a business lawyer… Pts-s-s… The circumstances.’

‘Any news from Sicily?’ ‘What news from Sicily? You will maybe ask me if did immigrate or just bought a ticket to the ship?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘I also don’t know… But, sometimes, it is possible to…’ ‘What is possible to?’ ‘To stay at home being a guest.’

An Armenian son returns home last in the night and wakens his father by shaking his shoulder, ‘Father, father… I should confess to you I have a wife… already for some time.’ ‘How long it lasts?’ the Armenian father in a participating way demands, being raised out from the world of dreams. ‘From ten o’clock yesterday when the overnight began.’

‘Ok, guys, Boss does send us for some racket in the local private insurance company, any opinions?’ ‘Well, like it’s Medicare… and the State does cover the expenses… All these ambulance chaser advocates… Maybe, we just say we do it to support the plan of Clinton-Obama?’

‘God, oh… God, you were right… I should not have pledged the ring of the defunct Jerry to the local shop of this Jew Abram… Well, I would better leave it in his grave to be buried… It might be counted and taken for reckoning in the day of doom and judgment… And, the angels might say he was graceful and merciful, if Boss himself gifted him that ring… Shit, I should not have believed that old Jew Abram who said he had the direct come to the God and might fix the matter!’


Conclusion:
USA is a country that establishes and aсknowledges for any citizen to have a right to feel himself (herself) a rebel against its own legal government.

An Englishman meets another Englishman and asks, ‘Have you ever met a clock?’ ‘I met it on the Big Ben.’ ‘I think that would be expedient to meet for us at over there for punctuality.’ ‘You think it’s polite?’ ‘I think even the king would think it’s polite.’

A cardinal meets another cardinal and asks, ‘How do you think should we forgive these sins?’ ‘I think not now until some time.’ ‘You do say it yourself or that is said by that horrible man that sojourns in your soul when we share the church money?’

‘The specialists do say people would think about you after your death you were a lucky guy.’ ‘If so, I will not invest some of my money into the Davy Jones’ lockers like box of hidden treasuries but spend that finance on my burial party.’

‘You made so delicious food, all was so tasty, you are a good cooker, almost a Georgian, so hospitable.’ ‘I just treated you according to our Caucasus custom and you do imply and mix up with politics?!’

* * *

‘Fish.’ ‘Fish.’ ‘How much of fish?’ ‘Seems fish.’ ‘You’re quite a fish.’

‘Yankee Doodle… USA… Clean roads… Independent and free people… Honest policemen… Even honest criminals… I would like to live over there.’ ‘You also want to participate in that melodrama which the rest of the world pays about ten billion dollars a month for… Seems like that… If only so…’ ‘Yes, I dream about being an actor in Hollywood.’ ‘But, only do not ruin your career by taking part in a politically unsuccessful movie.’

‘Bobbi was a good policeman.’ ‘Yea, Bobbi was a good policeman.’ ‘But, he did not die of a bullet or knife… They say he died of stomach ulcers or some infarct.’ ‘They said as well to him, ‘We will kill you, if not with a bullet then with despising.’’

‘This man is so funny.’ ‘Yea, I would like to know what shit does he eat.’ ‘Not cucumbers, that’s for sure.’

‘Jack is crazy.’ ‘Yep, Jack is crazy: he first offered me his house as a gift but then refused to give me a free tobacco smoke.’

‘Jokes?’ ‘Jokes.’ ‘Jokes?!’ ‘No jokes.’ ‘Any jokes…’

‘Do you know the history of the knight Gothlib?’ ‘Yea, if to start the story from the fact that first counts were accountants.’

‘You think we might hire that taxi driver for our deal?’ ‘No, I do not think it’s a good idea. He knows the city too well.’

‘They say Cosa Nostra is a State in a State and even a Mafia in a Mafia.’ ‘Go to Russia, Bobbi, and they will show and explain you the matreshkas’ principle.’

‘Italians won the world for four times: first with their legions, second time with their law, third time with their religion, and fourth time with their Mafia.’ ‘Yea, each time they get more and more gently.’

‘Let’s eat the barbecue.’ ‘But no questions as to who whom whose.’

‘They promised to render him the last grace.’ ‘Only he should not mix up and take the last grace for the first sight.’

‘We became serious, Mick. Almost became honorable.’ ‘Listen Jo, let’s solve that matter when you borrowed me ten bucks for Coney Island, while we’re still serious and until we became honorable.’

‘I love that Greek music in these cowboy westerns, Stew.’ ‘Vini, vidi, Vici?’ ‘No, I just heard.’

‘Kennedy was a queer guy.’ ‘Yep, nobody know.’

‘Tobacco.’ ‘Tobacco.’ ‘But, no organized crime.’ ‘Ha-ha, Bill.’

‘You deride the sacred things of the American democracy!’ ‘Not sacred and not secret, they talk of them so much.’

‘Do you need an overdraft, Bill?’ ‘I say me about all these banking machinations or how your automobile gear box works by?’

‘You are a complex fish, Bill.’ ‘No, I am as simple as that little Italian Sicilian that got lost astray when he had found a rotten potato in his kitchen garden.’

I am a Jew and beautiful. But, they had offered my dad a badpaid job. He was a killer.

'Do you know that rogue Massimo, a whoremonger and drugdealer?' 'You mean that accursed Jew that still bewails the death of Jesus?'